Good Times Bad Times

I would really like to be in an intense argument with a girlfriend. I know, this doesn’t seem to make much sense. You’re probably wondering why anyone would ever want such a thing. You’re probably wondering why or how I even thought about this. A little explanation is required.

This past weekend I went to a friend’s cottage in Bobcaygeon (not sure if that’s how you spell it). I was visiting with my friend and his girlfriend, and we were driving in the car. My friend’s girlfriend was in the back and she was saying how she could hear something wrong with the car, how the wheel was making some kind of strange noise. My friend and I couldn’t hear anything. She kept mentioning it and my friend kept asking what he could do about it. Eventually they both started getting angry about the whole thing, and eventually my friend said the he would get out of the car, sit in the back and listen, and she could drive. They both started in with raised voices at each other, and eventually got out of the car and started arguing outside. Eventually they both got back in the car and we continued on our way in silence. After a little bit, talking started again, there were some words of apology from both sides and the issue was put in the past. For the rest of the weekend, my friend and his girlfriend were completely happy (and even a little touchy, which most couples seem to be).

Now, I need to stress that my friend and his girlfriend are an awesome couple. She is absolutely wonderful, he’s basically a brother, and they are perfect together. So I found it a little discomforting when they started arguing. I was a bit worried about it at first. I got to thinking that maybe things weren’t going well between them and that their relationship might be in trouble. Then I had one of those epiphany moments, where I overcome my ignorance and naivety, and learn a profound and startling truth that everyone already knows. Fighting in relationships is natural and somewhat healthy. I’ve heard it before, but it never sunk in until then. It’s always been something that I’ve sought to avoid in my life and in my relationships. I thought that it would be easy to avoid but the truth is that the only way to avoid it would be to avoid relationships. I always sought to avoid it by being dishonest or indecisive about choices or views. It’s hard to argue about something when you both feel the same way. It’s also hard to argue when one person just gives up, and concedes all decisions to the other person. The problem with this, however, is that it stops any growth of the relationship (and makes you a pussy doormat). Occasionally you need to argue and fight; it helps you sort your feelings out and helps to humble both people. Ultimately, assuming you don’t argue and fight all the time, it should strengthen your relationship and make you both realize why you’re in the relationship.

So, as I said at the beginning, I would really like to be in an intense argument with a girlfriend. I would like this because, it means that: A)I have a girlfriend (which is always cool); B)I am not being a pussy doormat; C)We’re comfortable enough with each other to yell at each other; and D)It’s helping me to realize whether I want to continue being in that relationship or not. Only having good times would be easy. Who would ever want to end a relationship if it were only good times. It’s going through the bad times that helps you figure out whether the relationship is worth keeping, and if it is, how lucky you are to be in the relationship.

And with that, I’m done.

p.s. I think I’m going to expand on the letters to friends post, as well as removing the love section of that post, as I feel that the love section is shit and it deserves its own post.

(Good Times Bad Times, from Led Zeppelin’s debut album Led Zeppelin (I couldn’t think of a title until I finished the post and randomly decided to listen to Led Zeppelin)).