Girls Got Rhythm

Girls are wonderful! Seriously though, I love the female sex. And so does ACDC, which is quite apparent from the ridiculously large number of songs that have to do with ladies. And since I’m listening to a bunch of ACDC, and it’s such an important issue in my life, I might as well talk about women in this posting. Plus, with summer just around the corner (17 degrees on Friday ... ah yeah!), it won’t be long until all the girls are out in full force with minimal clothing cover (which is just wonderful!), so I best get this posting out so I can spend more time outside.

I have liked girls for as long as I can remember, which is a bit strange when you think about it. Usually boys go through that period where they hate girls, but I never had that. I pretended I did. I pretended that girls were gross and had cooties (which was later changed to syphilis in health class) because that was what was expected of me, and I would be made fun of for liking girls. I have never, however, wavered in my liking of girls. When I was 2 or 3 years old, I remember asking a girl to marry me as I was leaving daycare. We were both walking out with our mothers, and I asked the question. Both our mothers thought it was so sweet and laughed in that way that mothers do when they think something is funny, sweet and innocent. I felt kind of embarrassed by it. I didn’t understand why they were laughing at me ... I didn’t think it was funny. But that was my first attempt at trying to form a relationship with a girl that was beyond friendship. I would like to say that it has gone much smoother since then but surprisingly it hasn’t (I would even like to say that there has been no more laughter but, that has not been the case). Since that day, I have liked girls and they have been on my mind everyday for ages.

So why do I like them? I don’t know ... I just do. Somewhere in the hardwiring of my brain is programming to make me like girls. When I see them, I’m sure there is some sort of chemical reaction that occurs which makes my pulse quicken, ties my tongue and makes my brain essentially useless for communication of anything beyond simple fragmented sentences and words that are quite lacking in syllables (that’s sort of a joke, although there are times when I talk to some girls, that when I leave the conversation, I have absolutely no idea what I just said or where I was). So what is about girls that I like? As I explained earlier today to my roommate and his girlfriend, from a purely physical perspective, I am a face man. A nice face is more important than anything else. She could have the greatest body in the world but, an unattractive face is a deal breaker (Just to clarify, the concept that looks don’t matter is absolute bullshit, and anyone who says it is lying. Looks are important to any relationship beyond friendship ... if you are not attracted to their appearance, how can you expect to have a physical relationship ... attraction is a necessity). In particular, I am a big fan of a nice smile ... if a girl has a nice smile, I am sold. That being said, breasts and other body areas are also nice but I’m of the opinion that there is no such thing as too small of breasts or ass or anything like that. There is an upper limit; however, as I am just not that into huge amounts of fat (I’m sorry if it offensive but, it is true). Besides physical attributes, a nice personality is an absolute must ... I cannot do a relationship based purely on physical attractiveness. If I can’t have a decent conversation or if I don’t respect what the other person is saying, then its game over. It’s at this point where it gets confusing for me. Obviously there are particular traits and characteristics that I would prefer over others ... everyone have these preferences. I am not sure, however, how good these preferences are and if they are important to have. For example, I am really interested in outdoor sports and activities, and it would seem obvious to find a girl like that. However, might it not also be alright to find a girl who isn’t interested in those things but is understanding of my interest and has no problem with me pursuing those activities ... as long as issue does not cause problems, does it matter if the girl likes it or not? Would the relationship be better if the girl did like it? Who knows ... I am sure there are many schools of thought and opinions on this ... I have no idea. I guess it comes down to the whole idea of opposites attracting (perhaps a discussion for another posting) ... I don’t know how I feel about that though. So yeah, I like girls for many reasons, and I like many things about them (I really like how they smell too ... those fragrancy things that girls use (whether it be specials soaps, shampoos, perfumes, lotions, etc.) are just wonderful ... especially anything that smells like coconut or pina colada ... those scents are magnificent ... they make me lose my mind a little bit (and jizz in my pants (Andy Samberg is a comic genius))).

So what do I know about girls? Not that much ... girls are confusing. I have learned a bit (both about them and myself). I have learned that girls are irrational. Often times they act in a way and do things that make no sense to me or any other guys I talk to. Now, I am not trying to say that this is a bad thing but it is the truth. It’s just that girls are irrational and so are guys but they are different types of irrationality. Girls do stuff that doesn’t make sense to guys and guys do things that don’t make sense to girls. There is a whole host of reasons why this is and might be. There are lots of different psychological theories, and behavioural evolution theories. It’s not really important at the moment. What is important is that men and women are different and that we will behave differently.

Here is what I have learned about some of them and myself: being a doormat is not a good thing. I routinely fall into the position of trying to do everything for them and to please them in every conceivable way, to the point where I begin to change. Initially, I start out not caring what they think ... I make crude jokes, say insensitive things (which I really don’t mean) and am not afraid to say any idea that I have (including my idea that homosexuality was against nature ... an idea I once had when I was a naive and ignorant first year student ... I have since stopped being as ignorant and naive). However, after a certain amount of time, I find that I start to say less crude things, less offensive things and start to say the ideas that I think should be said, and not the ones that I actually have. (Sorry to break the thought ... I just switched over to Rainbow in the Dark by Ronnie James Dio ... soooooo good!). Furthermore, I begin to become really indecisive about everything, not wanting to do something that the girl may not enjoy. So I leave it up to the girl ... and gradually as things progress, I slowly stop being recognizable as myself, and become what I think the girl wants, despite having already been what the girl wanted in the first place. Then everything goes to hell and I end up standing on her front lawn in a leather jacket with a boom box over my head playing a Peter Gabriel song (no that has never happened, although I am not sure what movie it is from but I have seen it done in South Park). The worst part about it is that I hate myself when I become like that. I’m not sure why I do it, although I can make several guesses concerning issues related to upbringing and self-esteem. Regardless, I’ve figured that out, which is an important step. Plus, I am sick of being that way. I hate it and I refuse to do it anymore. That being said, I may sometimes be indecisive or do really nice things with no apparent motive (i.e. I will gladly bake or cook anything a girl wants because I love baking/cooking and see it as a challenge that I love to engage). This is just because of who I am. But I think I have reached a point where I can no longer be an indecisive pussy doormat because, I really don’t care anymore. I am a nice, smart, funny, somewhat in-shape guy, who is clearly a luscious piece of man meat. I am also quite loyal and committed to relationships, and I shouldn’t have to change the fundamentals of who I am in order to impress or keep a girl. And I will not do that anymore ... for anyone. That being said, I do recognize that relationships are about compromise, and I would be reasonable about certain things, but not the fundamentals of who I am and what I believe, unless those fundamentals change or I change my opinion which is entirely possible.

Alright, I’ve ranted enough for tonight. I am sleepy. Goodnight.

(Girls Got Rhythm ... by ACDC ... from Highway to Hell (I believe but I don’t want to look it up at the moment) ... absolutely wonderful).