Lady

I grew up watching cartoons and hearing fairy tales and all that jazz, and the one thing that really stood with me was how to treat a lady. In most of the fairy tales, there’s a prince, or some other male hero, who is the height of gentlemanliness, and he swoops in and saves the princess or the damsel in distress. That got me thinking, when I was younger, that guys were supposed to be these heroic and noble people who saved the damsel in distress. So that became my idea of what I had to be and what girls wanted.

So, as I grew up, and watched more TV and film, I was confronted by more films where the male is all noble and chivalrous and he takes care of or helps the girl who loves him and only wants him because he is so sweet. And then they ride off into the sunset and everything is hunky dory. As the message was still validated and nothing had changed, I once again assumed that this was the correct way to be and that girls wanted the nice and noble guy, who wasn’t pushy or advancive.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Hollywood is bullshit! Girls are not helpless, and I’m most likely not going to swing in all noble and chivalrous, and carry one off to live happily ever after. First off, I wouldn’t want a girl that was helpless. That would piss me off beyond belief. The type of girl I want would be able to take care of herself and wouldn’t be completely dependent on any man. She wouldn’t need me but would want me (and there is a huge difference there).

Secondly (and I’ve covered this in the past), I’ve been a giant retard when it comes to relationships because I invariably try to treat the girl like a damsel in distress. I couldn’t help it because I was acting based on bad and imaginary advice. The truth is that I’ve always entered into a relationship and almost immediately tried to become a servant and that shit ain’t cool. I’ve learned that you have to come in feeling like an equal and that the relationship should be about establishing the deepest of friendships built upon recognizing the other as an equal.

Thirdly, chivalry and not being an aggressive douche bag is still really cool (and I don’t care what anyone says). If a girl is cold, I’m giving her my sweater with absolutely no expectations. If she asks if I want to come in for coffee, I`m going to assume that I am going in to drink coffee. Mayhaps people think that is a stupid philosophy but I do think there is a benefit to being a nice guy, despite the often clichéd line that ``nice guys finish last``. The benefit comes from being able to sleep at night knowing that I have never tried to pressure a girl into anything she didn`t want, and knowing that I always tried to be respectful to women (even though I`m shameless in judging women through the car window). If a feminina would like to be with me, she need only make her desire known and then (depending on the feminina) she will find me more than willing to be with her. In fact, I will be super passionate and completely respectful of whatever pace she wants the relationship to go (I may be more inclined to go a little slower, as I`m just a little bit ole fashioned).

There. I just had to say some of this because it has been bothering me for a bit. Might elaborate on it more in the future. And with that ... I bid you all a good night.

(Lady by Styx from Styx II ... I love Styx ... they are sooooooooo goooooooooood!)